You have control over your actions. Perhaps not control over circumstances, but you can control how you act and react.
This was a big revelation to me. Ordinarily it wouldn’t have been such a big deal, and it may not be a big deal to you; but I’m tellin’ ya…it was life-changing. I was in the midst of some pretty scary moments in my life and bad news was overwhelming my ability to think clearly and rationally and I began acting poorly as a result of the mindset of victim and feeling trapped.
I had convinced myself that I was responsible for the safe-keeping and provision for everyone who needed me. I was running myself ragged filling needs and wants and making sure everyone was taken care of. As a result, I was taking less and less care of myself and my own needs. The flame was going out.
I felt trapped by the demands and didn’t know the way out. When someone enlightened me to this concept it literally changed my life! I could say no. I could say things like “I have plans for Monday, does Tuesday work for you?”
I began taking better care of myself. I began eating better…more nutrition and more water. I began getting more rest. I started to play more and began a training regimen to prepare for a half marathon.
I took responsibility for my actions. And I didn’t need to take responsibility for other’s actions, simply find ways to offer help as they needed it.
That part of the blogpost was written and saved as a draft on Oct. 23 at 4 pm.
Little did I know that “circumstances” were going to try to derail me again a week later.
And again…in November.
And yet again….in December.
And continue the assault on my determination in January and February… seriously…this is getting ridiculous to have THIS much happen!!
Having learned the lessons of taking better care of me and knowing that I wasn’t the one that had to carry all the answers and fix everything that was happening…I could continue taking care of me and the critical important things…which..this blog went unattended for a time while I was regrouping and getting other life things balanced.
Here we are in February…and I’m still here and still finding ways to love my life and family and live vibrantly.
I am dividing my time better between taking care of me, family, home and my other responsibilities and its showing.
There is more calm in my life IN SPITE of the rough circumstances that have taken place in the last half year.
Life is still good and Lessons are still being learned.