Sadness, Grief and introspection doesnt work well for me. It feels like someone else’s old sweatpants. It doesnt belong. Its hot and itchy and getting on my nerves. Its time to take it off.
I’m 52, married 30 years and have raised 2 children… and I have seen some stuff. I have done some stuff. Life isn’t fair and its often surprisingly crappy. I have always been able to pull out of it and carry on with my rainbows and butterflies view. Life was still worth hoping for and trying for. Glass half full and add some ice, please.
Lately…its like the hits keep coming. Like a storm at sea. Wave after ferocious wave and there isnt much time to catch my breath.
My FOCUS has been off. My energy has been sucked into things I have zero control over. Time to get back to the Happy Me plan. Time to let go of some things out of my control and taking control of what I can control.
There are so many things that I wanted to do. Capable of doing and talented enough to do them. Part of me is just getting tired of fighting waves. I don’t want to think that I have out-waited my time to make a change for the better. To follow my dreams.
To think that would be putting a pin the balloon of my message. That you can turn things around. Its never too late. Life is worth living. Get out there and MOVE!!
Was easier when I had people supportive of my plans but lately…my support team has turned to their own life plan and their own miseries and introspection. Some are noticing that I am getting more quiet and serious…not as supportive of their conversations about their current concerns. I’m here. I’m listening…but I’m also trying figure out how to float…or swim..or fly.
Part of me knows that if I float…if I just let go and float I will be okay. I will rise. If I stop fighting the waves and struggling, I will rise and breathe again with the sun on my face.
Rambling now at the beach on our last day of our getaway.
So much I have wanted to get done in the last 2 years. It wouldnt take much to get a good start but… I need to breathe. I need the waves to settle a bit. I need someone to come help me for a change. work on MY project for a change.
Making my list of tasks to get things back on track.
The right people will come along and support me as I renew this passion for living. Time to get back to living my message.